Manual Magazine

Barber’s Blog: Enough is enough.

Posted by markbarber on Thursday August 30 2012

A friend sent me a link to a new travel product the other week. An integrated wheelie case scooter. It’s target market? Very obviously the jet set commuter. The type of person who flies short distances, say between Auckland and Wellington, or Sydney and Melbourne a couple of times a week for business. The type of traveler who only needs a fresh shirt/blouse and a few other essentials in a light weight carry-on.

Enter the Samsonite Micro Luggage Scooter.

Designed with the hectic schedule of the executive traveler in mind, the Samsonite Micro Luggage Scooter boasts that it is the only luggage of it’s kind that doubles as transport. When speed is of the essence, this carry-on sized case can be quickly converted into a nifty scooter, allowing our red faced and perpetually sweaty professional a quick and efficient way of getting to and from arrival and departure gates. Simply fold down the wheeled board, and extend the telescopic handle bars, and you’re on your way. Turning is a sinch, just shift your weight from side to side and negotiate with ease through the crowds lining up for insipid Gloria Jeans coffee. Stopping isn’t a problem either, using the foot powered rear brake, similar to that of conventional scooters you’ll be able to pull up on a dime at the security check.

Look at this guy.

So are we going to see people scooting around the airport on these things? It’s bad enough people are already scooting through the CBD and inner city suburbs on the way to the office, under the guise of quasi fitness and getting active, now we have to dodge grown ass humans on the way to check in too?

I for one hope not. The ‘filtering up’ of scooters, from children to adults has gone quite far enough. I’m aware that there is some irony on my part, when I ask what self respecting adult would be caught dead on a childrens toy, but what are they thinking? I may be on the wrong side of 30, and still riding my skateboard, but there’s a long and illustrious history behind my past time.

Scootering is quite possibly the most embarrassing thing an adult could ever engage in, short of still having an imaginary friend. The thought of throngs of starched collared, dry lipped, Compaq clutching working stiffs gliding around the perfectly polished floors of my local airport is enough to make me break out in hives.

Check out the promotional video for this thing. Just imagine riding around on it, and everyone’s looking at you. Imagine you’re one of those smug guys at the end. Ugh, I hate you.

Look at this shit.

If you ever see one of these things cruising around, throw your Bacon and Egg McMuffin at the rider. You have my permission.

 

Here are some pics to take the edge off.

 

Beau Reid, Fakie Flip, Sydney.

 

Steven Carter, Backside Flip, Sydney.

 

Scott Lai, Backside 180, Sydney.

Next blog I’ll have something positive to say, I swear.

Comments

  1. Jake Mein says:

    Those photos are epic Barbs!

  2. Emily Cannan says:

    just plain gross.. puke-inducing . the promo vid makes it even worse. They might send you one to persuade you of its ‘genius’. if so, burn it, then return it. obviously.

  3. Colman says:

    That contraption is just a fancy version of the 1955 crate on a plank in the legendary ‘Back to the Future’ scene where Marty McFly (played by Michael J. Fox) rips the crate off a scooter and a sakteboard is born. McFly would have had a Pepsi not a coffee though. I reference this part of the movie:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZJ7cq6T3v4 See about 0:40 onwards.